Ultimately, Your Mind Is In Your Own Hands

Were you aware that thoughts are something that HAPPEN TO YOU? That's right. They happen to you. They happen unconsciously as well as consciously. They happen in the mind like bile happens in the gall bladder. You may as well consider the mind a psychic gall bladder, or at least an organ of sorts that simply exudes thought  after thought after thought.  

Free will is the tool that allows us to make meaning of our thoughts, and then to attach ourselves to them and identify with them. We are allowed to use thoughts/cognitions to make up our reality. Mindfulness, on the other hand, is the tool that allows us to OBSERVE our thoughts from a neutral place, from a place beyond the "I", a place outside the scope of the ego. This is especially handy when we are dealing with destructive, constrictive or otherwise dysfunctional thoughts, and mind you - the ego doesn't reserve only positive thoughts for the "I". The ego will take whatever you give it. Oh, I forgot to tell you, you are not your ego, either. You're not your thoughts and you are not your ego. What is your ego? Well, that's the topic of next months newsletter (visit the homepage to sign up if you like ). 

There are certain thoughts that serve us much better to observe  rather than to identify with. For example, judgmental thoughts, assumptive thoughts and blaming thoughts to name a few.  Positive, expansive and healing thoughts are ones that  generally serve us, especially if we allow ourselves to identify with them - for example, in the form of prayer or when setting intention.
But, isn't it instead remarkable the frequency with which we choose to be  identified with negative thoughts? I find that altering this misfortune is simply a matter of awareness, intention and practice. With respect to cognitive processes, the terms "to observe" and "to identify with" are very significant and mean very different things. How can you come to know the difference? The answer: It is  when you speak of your thoughts instead of from them.  Speaking of your thoughts means observing them and speaking from your thoughts means you are identified with them. 

Try this exercise as a way of developing your Observer and you may find that you are easing the extent of emotional and psychological pain:  recall an incident from your recent or distant past that was painful for you. Next, out loud say, I'm noticing this thought I'm having about x and I'm noticing there's a feeling that goes along with it, feeling "y" ( we'll call the feeling variable "y" because thoughts are always the reason "why" you have certain feelings!)
I strive to help my clients understand how their thoughts create their feelings which in turn create their behaviors - particularly the thoughts they are identifying with rather than observing because those lead to the behaviors that we wish we were not engaging in. If you are skilled enough to observe what you are thinking about, you are no longer susceptible to undesirable emotions and behaviors.  As an observer of "exudations of the mind" you can create stillness, or a buffer at least before you act.

The very act of observing creates awareness and expansion; the space needed in order to decide to respond instead of react; the ability to willfully surrender or more simply put, to just let go. So, think of something that's been bothering you for some time. As an exercise, say to yourself out loud, "As I notice the thought "x" I realize that thinking it is creating a feeling 'y'."  You have to say it out loud just like I wrote it or it won't work. You have to learn how to think about what your thinking about and talking yourself through it is one of the easiest ways to do it other than coming to see me in session.
As you talk to yourself about how you are thinking about what you are thinking, allow yourself a deep breath and notice a shift ever so slightly, if not dramatically, out of the turmoil that is usually associated with x and y.  Try it and notice what happens. The point is not to cure the world's ills so to speak. This point is to notice that it is your thought about the world's ills that creates your emotional experience. You can choose to identify with the thought or you can choose to observe it as all that it is - a thought. Then, you are that much closer to giving yourself the gift of the Now, the present moment and its inherent peace. For, remember this: you give everything you see all the meaning that it has for you.